30th June 2013

Mummy is exhausted. Ever since i've gotten home, i couldn't rest. Daddy had to work so Mummy had to do the night shift too. So the more tired Mummy was.

Apparently, everyday since we got back, we STILL had visitors. Today too. Your cousins came over to see you. But during evening time my dear, something happened. Scared the shit out of Mummy.

I was talking to your grandma over dinner. Then suddenly, i started slurring, my left hand dropped and my left leg dropped too. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. It was one of the most scariest moment again. I ended up crying but people just kept saying it's the postnatal blues.

I called the doctor, and the nurses told me to rest properly. See if it happens again... 

24th June 2013

We get to bring you home today dear. It was exciting and yet, scary. Mummy kept wondering how am i to care for you. What if i don't understand what you want? Btw, today you don't look so chinese now. haha. You look more eurasian now. It's amazing how straight your hair is. Mummy is considering straightening my hair for you, but i rather not... lets save the money for you instead.

And gosh... the bill was a biggy one. It was almost $10,000. We had to use our medisave and pay the rest by credit card. We will slowly pay it off when we get the baby bonus. But no worries, we will start saving for you properly too...

We got you home, and Uncle Mike drew up a welcome sign for you at the entrance 'Welcome Net!'. They made your bed and freshen up your room. You got everyone excited dearie.

We changed your first poop diaper. It was a yellowish mustardly poop that didn't smell at all! And you were crying, like a small little kitten. the sweetest cry ever. You were still tiny and most clothes were too big for you. haha. But you slept most of the time. Mummy was still tired and exhausted (lack of rest and after birth) so couldn't carry you much. Nanna and Aunt Elna were the ones who set up your sterillizer and bottles... And Daddy set up the machine for breastmilk pumping... Everyone was busy the moment we touched home.

We saw your first smile. A gummy grin and it was the most perfect smile ever.

21 June 2013 - 22 June 2013

Dear,

This is your birth story.

Mummy and Daddy checked into the hospital at 12 midnight this morning so that we can be induced to bring you out upon this world. Daddy was great. He kept mummy company, cheery and had to keep everyone else updated too. First, they cleared my bowels (you should see how fast mummy ran to the toilet!) and checked my cervix. Checking the cervix is one of the most painful thing to go through. Found out mummy was already 2cm open! Yeah!
Sweetheart, mummy never ran to the toilet that fast in my life! It's actually salt water up my arse... worst feeling ever. But the toilet break was another thing itself! Daddy had to help me get out of bed because hospital beds are hard to roll in! haha. Then did the drip on my right hand, which hurt when they pricked it. But i kept telling myself you're coming soon, it's all worth it. Then they put the first dosage for inducing me, and we had to wait.

We waited for 4 hours, and mummy's cervix was only 1cm dilated. And then they had to extend it and injected me again. No dilation. Sweetheart, after 22 hours, and Mummy's cervix only opened 3cm. It was anguish and exhausting. In the end, Mummy went into distress, Doc Ong said you were in too long, so we had to have a C-sect.

Mummy was panicky though she wanted Daddy around, so we couldn't do an epidural C-sect. So we had to do a C-sect under general anesthesia. It was costly but it was needed. Do you know that C-sects are very dangerous? Mummy's life was on the line. But thank God everything went well.

Daddy said you were born at 10.30pm, and it took about an hour of you in the operation theater (Mummy stayed longer as i needed to be sewn up). They wheeled you out to Daddy (who said you looked pretty chinese looking, but perfectly gorgeous.) He cried when he saw you but wasn't very sure yet because Mummy hasn't come out yet. You were perfect darling... absolutely perfect. 3.34kg heavy and 53cm long. Full head of hair, and the cutest sweet face ever. You had a touched of jaundice, but very minimal but had a bad case of mucus. So Daddy and Mummy were wary of what special care you need (for your cute little nose)

Mummy only saw you at 4am plus when i woke up. I saw you and you were asleep. The cutest baby ever in the world. My flesh and blood. You are perfect. I can't stop saying that. You were wrapped in the white cloth and asleep. You haven't opened your eyes yet. And they had to wheel you back into the nursery because Mummy was pretty weak. But trust me, i love you even more. And you're all mine.

Daddy kept wheeling you in and out showing you to the world. We had alot of visitors in the hospital dear, in and out, and both of us couldn't have any rest. It was exhausting. But that's how great your arrival is darling. It's a great special moment.

It's all about you.

19th June 2013

Dear Girl,

There's still no sign of you yet! Gosh... i'm hoping that my water bag will break, or a few hours of contractions, but it's nothing baby girl. But you're still beautifully moving in my tummy. As i tap here, here you are sticking your elbows and knees out. Are you so comfy inside? I guess it's the water content inside. By the way, the haze from Indonesia is very bad here. I'm so concern when you are born, whether your lungs are ready for this polluted environment.

Daddy has been really busy with work too. But he's even more nervous about you. Every night i don't think he sleeps at all. He's always awake when mummy runs off to the loo for a toilet break. And then he still has to get up early for work. Poor dear...

But darling girl, we are just looking forward to seeing you... gosh... you really want mummy to go through induction on Friday? Not a slight chance you will arrive on your own baby girl? Oh well... two days ago during the Novena to Mother of Perpectual Help, Archangel Gabriel did provide a message that through suffering, there's always a bright light at the end. You're my bright light baby girl... As long God is with us.. we will be okay.

Alright girl. I can't stop thinking of something sweet... ice cream. and a session with the Golden Girls :)

Love you hon. Cant wait to see you.
xxoo

17th June 2013

Dearest Daughter of Mine...

We finally saw Dr Ong! How cool it is for you to wait till he returns so you are in safe recognizable hands...

Well darling girl, you've grown tremendously during these 2 weeks. You're now 3.2kg and we can't see your head in the scan because you have descended. Daddy is worried if your head is too big in circumference and can't come out naturally... the things we worry about now. I can't even imagine what my tushy will go through after this... ANYWAY...

Dr Ong has arrange for you to be induce on Friday 21st June. And he said that inductions take about 18 to 20 hours long before deciding if we need a C-section (an operation) to take you out. Oh my...

We are really hoping you'll come out before that baby girl... so that you'll be healthier, Mummy will recover faster, and we both will be safer. I know we are in God's hands and we have faith in His care, but still, it frightens me. And i don't like the fact that we have to try to control the situation when i believe it should be in God's natural time and plan. But I;ve been talking to you, asking you to come out soon please and that everything is going to be okay. Everyone is waiting to love you darling girl, and you're going to be alright baby girl. Everything will be alright.

And to add, Mummy have been praying to Mother of Perpetual Help since last week... a 9 day Novena to ask for her assistance with your delivery. And today ironically, was the highlight of Archangel Gabriel. And the message behind it was that through suffering, there will reap a beautiful outcome. Like how Jesus had to suffer with the passion, but ascended into heaven and saved us from all our sins. What beauty is that?! So it really hit mummy hard that i'll have to go through some sort of laborious labor... but it's all going to be worthwhile for bringing you into this world. I can't wait darling girl... i can't wait to see you and kiss you.

And tomorrow is the last day of the Novena darling. And i'm hoping maybe you'll like to come by tomorrow instead? *wink* I'll keep talking to you... and praying... and hopefully in God's hands, His miracle can take place as according to his will.

'Your will be done Oh Lord, not mine'.

Ps: Btw, we have been having bad hazy weather because of our kind Indonesian neighbors... apparently Daddy came out with a theory that because we have a dengue fever epidemic, our kind neighbors have lend a hand to help us but 'fogging' the mosquitoes away with a unhealthy range haze... it's terrible weather darling... Mummy is going to keep you indoors till all these troubles go away.

And the heat wave is so bad last night darling, and Mummy can't switch on the air-con because Daddy isn't so well, so Mummy didn't sleep at all. Because you were so uncomfortable with the heat you couldn't rest, and my feet swell up to gigantic size and was blue black all over... I couldn't walk... but oh well... another beauty of pregnancy...

16th June 2013

You're due today baby. And yet, still no sign of you popping out. Daddy was wondering if you'll wish him Fathers Day, even Ah Gong too! Everyone is excited about your coming, but still we will be patient. I just hope you'll still be healthy and safe. Can't wait for tomorrow to see Doctor Ong to check on you.

Btw, there have been an increase in sharp shooting pains down Mummy's thighs. From what i've read, it's when you push downwards onto one of the major nerves in the cervix area. Whenever it hurts, Mummy has to stop in her tracks to take a breath. How i wish it was a contraction, LOL. And Mummy is walking like a watermelon is between her tushy. Oh well, the glamorous side of pregnancy honey bun.

And Mummy's feet at looking incredible hulk looking now. I don't think i can see my ankles anymore. It looks like it's even bigger size compared to Uncle Shaun and Uncle Maurice's feet! Aiyo!

Oh well, everyday i keep thinking it's my last meal before your coming, so mummy will whack a really good meal... so tonight, we whacked Tepannyaki!!! And i must say it's sooooo nice. Yum Yum... maybe it's all these glorious food that's keeping you in... How i wonder if it stops and you'll come out? hehe... Maybe i'll just start tomorrow instead...

Love you baby girl. Muakx.

14th June 2013

Dear Netanya,

You are still not out yet... Mummy has a gut feeling you're not ready yet and it's okay. I rather you come out at your own time and ensure you're in good health, than for mummy to force you out deliberately or any other way.

But Daddy has been helping mummy deal with the inducing you out anxiety... he bought us this raspberry leaf tea that helps strengthen the womb to help during labor. and Mummy just ate some sweet pineapples... but i figured.... you actually enjoy them because there's no contractions whatsoever. Baby girl is really enjoying your good food in there aren't you? :)

Just to update... Mummy has started her craving spree again. It was pizza hut super supreme personal pan pizza at midnight two nights ago... and a Hawaiian pizza, a mushroom pizza and top off with spaghetti Bologna sauce last night... heavenly... :)

And Daddy is going to get Mummy some malay goreng pisang tonight. Whoopeedoodah!!!

Actually Mummy have been having some contractions on and off these few days, but nothing to take action on. Just two days ago, i was having 4 contractions in an hour... then nothing in the next. And yesterday was very quiet, except that when i went to the toilet, it was like something jabbing me in my vagi**... that was painful but i figured my cervix is slowly opening.... gradually. And right now darling, your sweet elbows and knees have been jabbing me around, but i'm loving it. Because i know you're growing strong and healthy...

I just hope all goes well hon. Been trying to do a Novena to Mother of Perpectual Help too to bless us for this special arrival of yours...

and baby girl... i have to keep reminding myself that i should rest because once you arrive, rest will be in the past tense.

But whatever it is girl sweetie... i'm going to love you as much as i possibly can.

Counting down 2 days to your special EDD...

11 June 2013

Dearest Girl,

It's 39 weeks and 2 days now. Are you coming soon? You are a lot more solid  now, especially your beautiful knees. It's so knobbly now and when you jab mummy in my ribs, it's really a shocking poke! But it just gives me more reason to love you more and motivation to seeing you soon. When does God plan for you to arrive darling girl... we all wonder.

Will it be today? another special '11th' in our lives? hehe. And yesterday night, Mummy ate Grandma Lily's tomato and vinegar sauce and seriously suffered... the heartburn was so bad mummy didn't sleep. And on top of that, the insomnia. But i'm just thankful that it's just a week or two. Some people suffer for weeks. Thank God. But it's a sign of your coming... how exhilarating! 

9th June 2013

Dearest Comfy Baby Girl,

What's so comfortable being in Mummy's womb that you don't want to come out? I have to admit, I cried today. I think it's also got to do with hormones, but Mummy is so going to miss you, my little secret, kicking and playing and rumbling in mummy's tummy. Do you enjoy it when mummy rubs your back or plays with your feet hide and seek? I'm going to miss that even though i know you're going to fill my life with joy and love the moment you pop. 

Mummy has been rather emotional. I guess it's the weight, the aches, the lack of rest, the noise at home, etc. But thank God Daddy takes Mummy out for a nice lunch and a little shopping for the family and Mummy feels more productive and full of life. And how can i forget, Praying. God really comforts Mummy during this time of fear and worry. Do you know that fear of labor actually makes the pain worst? SO if one day you become a mother, never fear. Leave it to God's hands. He will quicken your labor and soon you'll see his perfect masterpiece. You are afterall my dearest masterpiece. 

And you're 39 weeks old today. Can you believe it? You've made it this far? God is great, Praise The Lord! Doctor Ong is officially on his family holiday, so there are only back up doctors this week. But whatever it is dear, i have faith that God will take care of us with all his Holy Angels and Saints. So we shall not fear. But i wonder will Mummy's water bag break? Will Mummy feel a contraction soon? Right now, Mummy is only dealing with achy feet and legs, tiredness and breathlessness... I really think you put on some fat this week darling. And your body feels harder through Mummy's tummy. But you're such an amazing gift and creation. I can't stop thanking God.

And again sweetheart, you were joyfully rumbling during mass time especially during the gospel. I love it how you know when to rumble like you know God is speaking and is filled with joy and love for Him. I hope you'll always be like that with a strong christian life.

But oh well... now it's just a waiting game darling for your coming. when do you want to come out? Mummy is glad that her maternity leave started on the 3rd June... giving me time to rest, have some silence (though it hard at home sometimes with your grandma), and to just embrace the last moments of having you in Mummy's tummy. 

I so love you my child. My blessed child. I can't wait to see you and hold you and kiss you endlessly. 

I love you baby girl. 

5th June 2013

Dear Netanya,

Today Uncle Louise from church came by to visit. Uncle Sam couldn't make it, but Uncle Louise got you a beautiful pin with a medal for babies. Mummy will ask Grandma Rose to get it blessed at the church and will pin it on you everyday okay? May the Lord, Jesus, Holy Spirit, Mama Mary, St Gerard and St Joseph and all the Angels and Saints protect you. We do not worship these medals, but it is a constant reminder that they are there praying and looking out for you... like a photograph.

And Uncle Louise even prayed the whole rosary over you too. It's because they will be going for a prayer retreat and was worried if they don't get to see you on time. So you see how sweet darling girl? Mummy was very touched that he came down from one end of Singapore just to pray over you. God bless him. I hope you'll keep in touch with him as you grow up. He's a lovely young chap who wants to be a missionary when he grows up. I wonder if you'll have any spiritual vocations... how blessed would that be.

3rd June 2013

Dearest Darling Girl,

Today, Mummy went for your 3 week check up and so many things have changed. Apparently, you're still 2.8kg (which worries me...) but Mummy lost more weight now. Mummy has been feeling some intense braxton hicks (crampy feeling) so i thought we are getting there pretty soon. But to my shock, Mummy's cervix is not open yet and neither do you look like you want to come out! You looked more comfy (even Doctor Ong said that) and may want to stay in longer. I guess you have your reasons for staying. You're not ready yet. I was a little bumped out because all this while, it looked like you wanted out early, but everything changed last minute, can you believe it? I hope you'll come out before Dr Ong goes on his holiday next week... but if not, it's okay. We shall never rush into things alright baby girl?

But if you are not out by the 17 June sweetheart, we have to be induced because it's passed your due date. It's not healthy... I'm wondering if ice cream bribery might do the trick? hehe. Anyhow... you look gorgeous today. Again, your beautiful high forehead, pouty lips and chubby cheeks. Actually Daddy made a remark in the evening when he showed the picture of you that you look like Grandma Lily. But the thing is sweetie, scold me for being selfish, i wanted the resemblance only to be between daddy and me... Because you are our precious child, i just want you all mine... wierd isn't it. Oh well, but daddy saw mummy's baby picture and Mummy too has a high forehead... so thank God... Mummy managed to control her emotions...

Anyway... we have Aunty Regina learning how to crochet for you. Apparently shes trying to make some booties. How cute is that?! And Aunty Carol has been praying for you too... You're much loved and all of us are excited to see you. When will you be out my love?